Perhaps it was that my hormones were starting to come to life
or the clothing I was now wearing had struck a chord with me but now in
addition to feeling more comfortable as a sissy I was almost always in a
constant state of arousal. As soon as the soft touch of satin panties or other
clothing touched me especially my penis I immediately became aroused. My
greatest fear was my mother discovering me erect or worse masturbating which I
did often. I would tell my mom I loved my new room so much I wanted to spend
more time there when in actual fact what I wanted was to play with myself.
Weekdays after school and in the evenings were always filled
with dance lessons either ballet, square dance or Appalachian clogging. I really loved the square dancing and Appalachian clogging because it was fun, the dresses were frilly and most importantly the girls were very friendly. Here's a video clip of the clogging style and dresses:
My days were so busy either I had to immediately do my homework followed by
dance or vice versa. Thankfully mom took me to lessons almost 50 km from home
to avoid attending classes with girls from my school it meant that lots of time
driving. As soon as I got into my tights and leotard I would get aroused which
was embarrassing thankfully the initial arousal subsided.
It was later in the evening, during bedtime and on weekends
when I would have plenty of opportunity to play with myself and could cum to my
heart’s desire in my diapers without detection. What I discovered very quickly
was that wearing diapers and plastic pants gave me the greatest arousal and if
they were wet it was even better. By now I was no longer occasionally wetting
by accident instead if I woke up in the middle of the need with the urge to pee
I would purposely soak my diapers then savor the feeling by rubbing my penis
through the plastic pants and cloth diapers until I fell back asleep.
Every morning I would slide my pillow down and lay on it
facedown and rub myself and “hump” against it until I would cum again into my
diapers. My self-gratification didn’t go unnoticed though because I had not
noticed that my enthusiastic masturbation and humping caused the plastic sheet
on the mattress to make a loud swishing sound and the bedframe has pushed
against the wall and was now banging against the wall.
One Sunday morning my newly discovered fun was exposed much
to my horror and humiliation. I was humping away when suddenly my mom shrieked,
“What on
earth are you doing?”
I looked up and standing in the doorway with her hands on her
hips was my mother. In her right hand she held her favorite spanking implement
the dreaded wooden spoon. She marched in grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up
to my feet. It was summer and I was wearing a cotton baby doll nightie and the
cotton briefs that were covering my plastic baby pants were down around my
ankles causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor.
Mom was angry and screamed at me,
“You little sinner you know from
church that masturbation is a very serious sin! You will be going to confession
this morning and I’m sure the penance Father Nicholas will give you will be
nothing compared to mine.”
My mom was a devoted Catholic and required me to attend
church with her every Sunday and now I would have to face the humiliation of
telling Father Nicolas about my masturbating. Mom gave my arm a jerk and within
a few seconds she had me over her knee and had my diapers pulled down. Mom
believes in spanking but thankfully they are short but painful. She gave me 5
or 6 sharp smacks with the wooden spoon which made me yelp in pain and rub my
bare bum.
“Get showered and I will have your clothes ready for church
after confession we are going to have a little chat”.
Confessing to masturbating was the most embarrassing thing I
had ever done, mom was clearly angry after church and she did not stop to chat
with her friends while I had to stand beside her and listen to church lady
chatter. No sooner did we exit the church did she take me by the elbow and
march me straight to the car. We weren’t even out of the parking lot before she
began lecturing me how disappointed she was in me and how she was mortified
that she had raised what she called a “sex fiend”. Thankfully the drive home
was less than 15 minutes but she ranted the entire time and grew more angry by
the minute.
Once inside the house she gave me a swat on the bum and told
me to go to her room and wait for her. When she arrived she was decidedly
calmer and she asked me why I masturbated. At first I just shrugged but she
pressed me for an explanation over and over until I was in tears and blurted
out,
“I like the
feeling of wearing diapers and it makes me feel good.”
This started her on a lecture about giving into desires for
enjoyment even though they are evil which went on and on. She then informed me
that I was not in diapers to give me enjoyment but because I could not keep my
bed dry. She informed me that she would make sure I did not enjoy wearing
diapers as much from now on. I would find out later that day what she meant by
that remark.
My mom punished me by making me write a passage of scripture
1000 times that dealt with the evils of masturbation. To this day I still
remember it:
Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual
immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins
sexually sins against his own body.”
I
spent my entire Sunday writing this short piece of scripture, by dinner time I
had only done it a few hundred times. I was required to write my lines after
school once my homework and dance classes were completed. It took days and when
she reviewed my penmanship once I was finished any lines that were too messy
had to be repeated.
